The Internet Personified: Coping mechanisms

A list of stuff I miss and stuff I don't

Hi,

I feel like I should have more to tell you than I do, in this Week 6 (or Eternity 1) of our collective lockdown period, but apart from some writing I am working on, I have no new exciting news. The karela vine on our garden has started fruiting nicely, if that’s something that pleases you to hear about? I like karela and I made a raw karela salad that was delicious (no, really) and even K, Hater of Karela, ate half the bowl.

And then to no one’s great surprise, we hear yesterday that the lockdown has been extended for another couple of weeks for people in red zones, which we here in Delhi are, it being a big city with lots of testing and all. Some stuff will resume, but not buses or metros, so our maid is still going to be parted from us for the foreseeable future. (Before you ask, yes, we are still paying her salary.) But now we’ve become such old pros at housework, and not having a maid means my standards for good housekeeping have also slipped considerably. Fuck it, I think, when I see dust or dirty floors, or clutter. And indeed, learning to embrace the “fuck it” within myself has been super liberating. Some days I just watch movies back to back, some days I assign myself a list of tasks—I’ve learned I am the sort of person who enjoys stress-cleaning, who knew? Especially kitchen countertops, so satisfying to get them all shiny again. Since I started this new writing project, I have been busy, intellectually as well as housework-wise. The thing is, before you feel bad that you’re not writing or learning something or reading all these improving books: this is how I cope, by consuming art and by making it. For me, the biggest stress reliever is creating something, whether it’s learning to draw animals accurately or cooking something nice and complicated or yes, writing. If I’m not coping by making something, I’m coping by watching and reading stuff other people have made. This is also an excellent time to recommend Samit Basu’s newest book, which in my not-at-all-biased-opinion is a masterpiece. You can buy the ebook here and YOU SHOULD. It’s so good it will distract you from all this endless staying indoors stuff.

This is how I get by and it’s how it has always been, no matter what the stressful situation was. You don’t need my permission to be bitter or angry at the world and just get by by eating instant noodles and watching an endless stream of sitcoms. As long as you know that this is how you cope, you really don’t need more challenges in your life right now. Living is a motherfucking challenge. Everyone is cross and tired and no one wants to talk for hours on Houseparty anymore. (I have become so potty-mouthed during this pandemic, but I kind of like it. Fuck fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck.)

Here’s a list of stuff I miss and stuff I don’t:

Menus: YES. Oh, choices. Oh, having someone else cook something and just ordering it, and then there is, all those ingredients, lavishly strewn across your plate, and cocktails and knowing just how something will taste because you’ve ordered it before, and reading menu descriptions like they’re a novel, my god, I miss restaurants so much even though I didn’t go out to eat a lot right before, not being all that wealthy recently. I keep thinking of Coast Cafe with their fish tacos and their perfect g&ts and the best Bloody Marys I’ve had. I hope it’ll still be there when we get out.

Parking: NO. Let me tell you, as someone who drove to get groceries the other day, the sheer joy and liberation of just parking anywhere, like in front of a gate or up a road and no one around and pulling in behind you and honking, I really don’t miss honking, it’s just so freeing to drive in the middle of the road and park wherever you like. (Don’t go out unless you’re going to get groceries, okay?)

Flights: YES. I am too sad to think about all the travelling I will miss for such a long time and airports, which I normally hate with all the security lines and the overpriced food courts, have taken on a rose-tinted glow, of nostalgia and remember when we could just go anywhere (after we got visas and passports and security checked but still?)

Pollution: NO. Non-Delhi-readers will not understand exactly how much joy we are all getting from clear skies and clean air, that doesn’t make you cough as soon as you inhale too deeply. As a reward for staying off the road, we’ve had an unusually mild beginning of summer, even as I write this, we only have the fans on. It’s hot, but it’s not roasting slowly hot. Also we have these two mynah birds who have come to our kitchen window debating whether to start a home there (the cats can’t reach them if they nest on top of the kitchen geyser) and a couple of red vented bulbuls in the front balcony and all sorts of activity in the tree opposite which we can see because we are so high up. I haven’t breathed so easily in years, the only thing that is making me sneeze right now is cat fur, but that’s all. It’s like a reward for staying home.

Home Delivery Easiness: YES. There’s a bunch of things I want off Amazon, none of which are essential. I want my Dewan’s coffee back on track (maybe he will be after Monday?) I don’t want to go to the front gate to collect my groceries or my food each time, I want it to come to me (ours is one of the more paranoid colonies in the city.)

Not Cooking So Much: NO. I’ve learned I like cooking, even every day basic stuff. I like looking at our pantry, and feeling connected to the kitchen. I like leftover day, when we’ve made enough food to not cook for a while. I hope this lasts, even when it’s no longer a necessity.

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This week in publishing news:

Thomas Abraham on what publishers and booksellers should look for post pandemic.

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Leading with non-COVID related links because we CAN:

This week’s featured gif animal, the Standard Poodle, said to be the second smartest breed of dog in the world. (The Border Collie is number one.)

How Am I The Asshole became such a satisfying community.

Hilary Mantel is super bitchy in this review of Madonna’s biography.

Don’t you love a good story of how a faker got taken down? I do.

This is a tough read, but I really enjoyed it. The “greeter” at a shoe store and her other life with a drug addicted mother.

A funny piece on why we should stick to saying Ramzan instead of Ramadan.

This was such a beautiful film review but also so much more than a film review.

Excellent long essay on the actual writing skillz of Agatha Christie which will put you in a Christie-esque mood. (hat tip Ameya!)

(Speaking of films yesterday I watched Zodiac on Netflix and Thappad on Amazon Prime and enjoyed them both. I also binge watched and loved Never Have I Ever on Netflix and K forced me to watch The Witcher and now I’m really into it, so he is super smug.) (So many Mahabharata themes!)

And obviously we have to have some coronalinks but these are good ones, I promise

Lovely essay on talking to your online matches in a pandemic.

Why we are listening to more new music right now. (TL;DR: our brains are very squishy right now so we’re absorbing new things very fast.)

That Indian government corona tracing app sounds super ominous.

Have a great week, regardless.

xx

m

Where am I? The Internet Personified! A mostly weekly collection of things I did/thought/read/saw that week.

Who are you?Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan, writer of internet words (and other things) author of seven books (support me by buying a book!) and general city-potter-er.

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